I wore a bikini!
Now that may not seem like a big thing to some of you, and yet there are others who will understand why it is.
I have never worn a bikini. Even as a child I think I always wore a one piece swimsuit. Then came the ‘awkward’ teenage years which never seemed to let up. I love swimming although I don’t really go that often, when I do, I get in and out of the pool as fast as I can.
Over the past couple of years I have come to accept and like who I am. I know this is me, this is my body and I know it’s not perfect but it is what I have and I am proud of what I have. I understand there are people in the world who have a variety of problems or issues that I do not and I need to embrace what I have. Just because I like who I am, it does not mean that I still don’t have times where I feel down about a part of my body. I may like myself but I don’t like drawing attention to parts I am still not 100% confident with, this being my stomach and thighs. They are not ‘fat’ (well I wouldn’t say they were) there is just fat there that I would like to tone. I also think I have quite dark hair on certain body parts I wish there wasn’t or that some may think was weird. Anyway, In September last year I started jogging. I did a jogging programme called ‘Couch to 5K.’ It starts you off easy where you jog for a minute and then walk for a minute and you repeat this so many times. As the weeks go on you jog for longer periods without walking until you run for 30 minutes or 5K. I did this programme because I wanted to jog and I also have a dodgy hip at times and it seemed like a good way to work myself up. Through doing this I lost some weight; that wasn’t my intent but it happened and it has helped me to feel sooooo good. This helped me to buy my first bikini for a holiday I was hoping to book but never did. Luckily a family member has a swimming pool and we went there for a BBQ this weekend. I thought ‘…right, this is it. Now or never.’ I had taken a long t-shirt and some shorts to put over my bikini just in case I chickened out, but I didn’t. I admit that it did take me a while to take off my long t-shirt and jump in. I kept looking around to see if anyone was looking (my mind is my own worst enemy) but then I just did it. I took the top off and jumped in and that was that. I did feel a little self-conscious but that wore off. I still don’t feel I would be comfortable walking around in a bikini, but that was such a huge step for me that I feel proud of myself. It sounds so silly saying that but I do. I’m 27 next month and that’s the first time I’ve worn a bikini due to me having body issues and low self-confidence in that area.
I believe everyone, no matter how big or small they are, may have different feelings about their bodies and parts they may not like as much as others, but we need to learn to love ourselves. Nine times out of ten I think it’s our brains putting ourselves down for what we see or hear in society, and it needs to stop.